This is the date, time and place.
I have read a number of blogs out there on the internets that talk about the death of their sex lives with their significant other. Some of them even talk about the date or the event that either ended it or began the end.I'm marking this date, time and place (Feb 8, 2007 at 12:15PM in our bedroom) that the end has begun.
Let me tell you some back story that sort of goes back to a blog I wrote on before this one. My wife has never been the take charge kind of woman when it comes to sex. She has almost always made/let me initiate it. Even when she initiated it, it was very subtle. A change of clothes to lingerie, cuddling up on the couch; that sort of thing. Never once has she touched me in a sexual way to start off things. I can't recall more than three times that she ever touched my penis without me putting her hand on it or asking her to touch it or give me head. In fact, my wife has never given me a blow job without me asking for it first. I think the last time she went down on me went like this:
Me: "Baby, please give me a blow job?"
Her: "OK, but don't cum in my mouth." (The same statement she always makes - for the last 12 years of marriage.)
Me: "OK" (The same answer I always give - for the last 12 years of marriage.)
Her: Grabs my cock in one hand, puts the tip and the first inch or so in her mouth and repeats that a few times for less than five minutes.
It's the same way each and every time. The last time was so long ago that I can't remember when it was - at least more than a year ago.
Even still, we had pretty good sex before our son was born and even for a few years after. Then she started having problems with ovarian cysts and abdominal pains about 5 years ago. It turns out that she had endometriosis and eventually had her uterus, fallopian tubes and ovaries removed. Because of all that she had problems with scarring and adhesions.
During all of this sex was painful for her but she endured it for me (although she did not tell me it was painful until near the end).
After all of the surgeries and recovery, I gave her plenty of time and room to get back to normal if possible. It seemed to me that she did not want to have sex. I turned to the internet and masturbation for most of my relief. After about six months I tried to talk to her about it and ask her to take a bigger role in sex. I gave her books about how to please a man and her self. I wrote poems to her. I described in great detail what I would like to try with her and things seemed to get better. That process started about 18 months ago. Recently, she does not seem interested in having sex at all. We were up to 2 and 3 times a week and now we're on a roll if it is every other week. We are at three weeks without it now.
Most recently, since I have been home unemployed, I have hoped that things might change. You know, the wife comes home for lunch and we have a good fuck first. That has yet to happen. And all I get are complaints from her about what I have not done around the house (no thank you's for anything I HAVE done). And I get snide comments about being unemployed.
Today, she's home with a day off and at this moment is laying down napping in the bed. She asked me to join her and I did hoping that something might happen. I cuddled up and spooned behind her. Normally, I would have to make the next move (hand on a tit or something like that) but this time I deliberately did nothing and waited to see what would happen. Snoring - that's what I got.
So mark this date down. Sex is over in our house for us.
I did not believe that I would ever cheat on my wife but I would consider it now.
Don't get me wrong. I love her but I need to have sex and not just the vanilla, basic kind we've been having as of late.
Oh hell, who am I kidding, I'll be spending alot of time with Mr. Right and Mr. Left in the near future...
Labels: cuddle, end, lack of sex, sex, spooning, wife
posted by section306g @ 12:24 PM
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