Future Boy
My son has been amazing me lately. He’s becoming very interested in designing, building and inventing things. Basically, he’s my little engineer! He actually sketched out his concept of a manned mission to Mars. What he did was draw the basic flight plan in his notebook with some key milestones on the trip – launch, refueling points, landing and the return trip. My little 10 year old actually said to me, “all I have to do now is figure out how much fuel the ship will need.” It almost brought tears to my eyes.
His teacher said to him that he should be a scientist or engineer since he’s so interested in things like that. His grades in math and science are pretty good.
I guess I’m somewhat responsible for this as I watch a lot of Discovery Channel, Science Channel and documentaries with subjects of science and engineering things which he watches with me. I’m also very interested in the space program (manned and unmanned) and he’s interested in it, too, almost by osmosis. When you think about it, most of this television can be very entertaining if you are into those sorts of things and compared to most of the crap that’s on TV lately he could do a lot worse watching most other shows.
This is one of the reasons I really want him to attend this local Catholic high school that is very good but very expensive (currently $8,000 a year). So that’s why I have to put a substantial amount of money from the sale of our house away to pay for it. I certainly won’t be able to pay for college (I’m praying for academic and athletic scholarships plus student loans to take care of that) but I sure as shit will do my best to put him in a great position to get into a good college by getting him into the best high school I can afford.
The high school we are aiming for is one that is highly regarded, has many notable alumni, and has a great athletic program. In fact, the hockey team and football teams are all ranked as one of the top 3 in the state. Also, many of its alumni have gone on to high level executive positions in business, entertainment, industry and government. My brother went there and it sure did well by him.
I want my son to at least have a better start than I did (not that mine
wasn’t a good start but it was the best my parents could do) and I see this as a great way to point him in the right direction. Now, over the next 4 years, I must make sure he gets the grades to be accepted to the school and I must have the money saved to pay for it.
Labels: boy, engineer, high school, math, money, prep, school, science, son
Today's News
The big news for me now is that we have decided to sell our house. We just can’t afford to keep it anymore. Taxes, water, oil, upkeep are just more than our income can handle and still live reasonably comfortable anymore.
We’
ve been living there for 10 years. My aunt (Dad’s sister) owned the house for many years. As she got older and Alzheimer’s began to take its toll, Dad asked us to move in to the second floor apartment to help take care of her. She passed away in December of 1999, 11 days before my Dad succumbed to cancer. He was her sole heir so my Mom inherited the house in Dad’s stead. We bought the house from Mom in the summer of 2000. Taxes were about $1,000 a year less than they are now. Oil and water were both about half of what we now pay.
Over that time, I’
ve been out of work 3 different times and it’s been a struggle to keep up with paying the bills and still live comfortably. We are actually about 6 months behind on the mortgage payments, oil bill and water bill. Selling the house is our best option to get out of this hole.
Thank God that our mortgage is through a very friendly local bank and they are working with us to allow us to sell. That way, at least we’ll get something out of the investment we made. If we sell for market rates (anywhere between $250k and $325k) we’ll make out pretty well even after paying off the mortgage and the bills. My best guess is that we’ll have somewhere between $45k and $90k left (even after putting some money away for the boy’s schooling). I want to invest about $10k to $20k of what’s left for future consideration and keep the rest for liquidity.
I told my Mom that we had to sell and she was cool with it. She told my brother and he called to tell us that he wants us to move in with him. He and my Mom had bought a very nice 2 family house last year that is two blocks from where we live now. It has an attic space that can fairly easily be converted to a loft apartment with the addition of some heat, a bathroom and a kitchenette. So he decided to offer us his apartment, he’ll move up to the attic space and we’ll have the 7 room second floor.
I’m very grateful to my brother as his offer solved a ton of problems for us: We won’t have to look for an apartment (with our credit issues that could be very tough). We won’t have to move out of town to find something we could afford. We won’t have to switch my son to another school since we’ll still be in the same district. I know my brother will be reasonable on the rent. We’ll be there to keep an eye on Mom (she’s 75 and not that mobile).
A few immediate concerns are that first, we have to keep paying the bank something towards the mortgage (not that hard and we are doing that now). Second, we have to pay the oil bill so that we at least get an oil delivery to get us through the summer (we use oil to heat hot water). Third, we missed one home insurance payment and the company canceled our policy so we have to get a new one. These are the most pressing issues and the one I am most concerned about is the insurance.
Other than that, life is not too bad. I think the temp job I’m currently holding may turn into a permanent gig. I like it there. My boss is cool, the office is great and the commute is pretty easy. The job is almost a no
brainer, too.
The boy’s hockey has settled down for now. We had no option but to have him tryout in other programs since the program he played in for the last two years is collapsing. He made a B team at the program we wanted most but it’s is a fair distance for us to go. He’ll do well there but it’s gonna cost us about $700 more a year in tuition. The new program is better managed, larger and dare I say a better class of people involved as well. The best part is that we are going back to Lake Placid again next season! We had so much fun there this past year and we are excited to go back. I definitely have a number of things I want us to do there this year and number one on the list is the bobsled ride!
My health has settled down. My blood pressure is good and I have had no chest pains at all. Besides having to remember to take 4 different pills at different times each day my recovery has been good. I have been going to my exercise program almost religiously but I have had trouble staying on my diet. That’s the hardest part but I am resolving here and now to get better at that.
My relationship with the wife is a bit odd lately… She’s been bothered by some of her own health problems and it’s caused her to be testy and short with both the boy and me. We’
ve argued a few times and they’
ve been serious enough that I stopped talking to her twice. She gets so worked up sometimes and then she just lashes out at us for little things. What I really don’t like is that she curses and calls us names. I never, ever do that to her or the boy and I really don’t want her to do that to us. She makes me angry when she does that and when she acts like the martyr in a situation or an argument.
Labels: bills, boy, brother, dad, debt, heart, hockey, house, mom, money, move, recovery, sale
Recovery
Recovery from catherization with angioplasty and insertion of a stent starts as soon as the procedure ends. The patient (me of course) has to lay flat on their back for a couple of hours. During that time the staff gingerly helps to transfer the patient to a gurney for transfer to a room. Once in the room, vitals such as blood pressure, temperature and pulse (along with a telemetric heart monitor) are monitored every 15 minutes. Basically, a nurse sits by your bedside and watches you. I actually wore a blood pressure cuff and that little light thingy on my finger most of that day. In my case, I had a male nurse that was joking the whole time. He made the whole experience much easier for me with that and by explaining everything in detail along the way.
One of the things he explained was that if I had to sneeze, cough or laugh I had to place my hand where the still inserted catheter was in my leg and hold it. This was to minimize its movement and to aid in its removal and sealing the incision later on. The problem was that the way he joked around, I had to grab the thing every couple of minutes! Obviously, that was intentional as it helped me to remember to do it.
All this time, I was still hooked up to a fluid IV and it caused me to want to urinate very often. I don’t know about you but it aint easy to pee lying flat on your back – try it some time. I actually had to have my wife hold my penis and aim it into the jug they give you to catch it. As hard as that sounds, it’s even harder when there are other people watching. I guess I had a form of performance anxiety. At some point, I had to give in and let the nurse hold my penis while I peed! I have to say, that was humiliating but when you have to go and there is no one else but the nurse to help, you’d do it too.
Along the way, your body starts to hurt from lying in one position so long. I really felt it in my lower back and butt.
About two hours after the procedure, the worst of the whole thing has to happen, the nurse removes the catheter! That may sound like it’s a good thing and it is, but it’s painful.
Two nurses teamed up to remove it. They began with removing the temporary dressings over the tubing and prepare the more permanent dressings. Next, they pull the tube out and use direct pressure to seal the incision and stop the bleeding. I have heard other people tell me that this is usually done with sandbags but not in my case. My male nurse stood over me with straight arms pushing down on the wound with his palms. I can’t tell you how painful this was – I almost blacked out in the beginning. I actually used breathing to get me through it (sort of like Lamaze techniques for childbirth). I also had a death grip on the bed rails. All this while naked with my penis hanging out, and I still couldn’t move and had to lay flat. THIS LASTED FOR 30 OR SO MINUTES!
About 20 minutes into it, the male nurse was perspiring and his arms were shaking and he was red faced. He removed the direct pressure to check the wounds and all seemed fine but the other nurse resumed the pressure since protocol dictates that they must go 20 minutes plus another 10 minutes to be sure.
When it was all over, they bandaged the wound with a tight pressure dressing and told me that I had to continue to lie on my back for 4 more hours as they continued to monitor my vitals.
That ended right around 1PM or so and shortly after, they finally let me eat something (I had not eaten since about 8PM the night before). The male nurse fed me two tuna salad on white bread sandwiches with sips of ginger ale in between. He literally fed all of this to me by hand (I was still flat on my back, remember).
The next toughest thing was when my wife brought my son up to see me. Poor little guy was very upset (I guess I did not look that good!). I did my best to reassure him that I was fine – especially since the doctor fixed what was bothering me – and that I would be around a long time. I have to say, it’s very hard to explain this kind of thing to a 10 year old. He got through it OK if not a bit scared and shocked by the whole thing.
Through all those hours on that bed, my back hurt, my butt went numb, and my hips and legs were very stiff. It was not even remotely easy to endure.
Finally, at about 7:30 that night, I was able to sit up in bed and even get out of bed to use the bathroom. I was sore all over and it was painful to stand up (my back and legs were very sore and stiff.)
After a fitful night of sleep, the hospital released me the next morning and I went home to recuperate. I had hoped to go back to work on Monday (my procedure was on a Friday and I went home on Saturday) but I was still a bit tired and decided to take one more day to rest.
One of the weird things that go along with this is that the area of my leg that the catheter was inserted is somewhat numb now and all the hair growing back has been itchy! Also, after the procedure, you have to take a blood thinner (in my case – Plavix) for basically the rest of your life. The Plavix made me feel really odd. Almost like I did not know what to do with myself. It even felt like my skin was crawling. In fact my body had to get used to the increased flow of blood and I ended up back in the hospital with chest pains. They did another catherization a week and a half later to make sure everything was OK. It was and there were no other blockages.
Another side effect was that the palms of my hands and my feet itched like crazy. I thought I had a bad case of athlete’s foot or something. Evidently, sometimes the Plavix can cause rashes in the hands, arms and feet. I did not get the rashes but the doctor speculated that with the better circulation due to the stent and the Plavix, the capillaries in my hands and feet were reacting to the increased blood flow and that caused the itching.
After going home from the hospital, I had to begin a regimen of cardiac rehabilitation. This is basically an exercise program at the hospital. I go to the rehab unit for a 45 minute or so session 3 days a week where I exercise for 10 or 15 minutes at a time alternately on the treadmill and pedaling a stationery bike.
I will have to keep up the exercise and I'm on a diet (I'd like to lose a substantial amount of weight). My life has really changed. It has not been easy and I have a lot to get past before I am fully recovered.
Labels: boy, catherization, diet, exercise, heart, nurse, pain, pee, recovery, son, stent
Excitement
In a week, we'll be leaving for Lake Placid, NY so that my Son can play in a hockey tournament there. We're all very excited (everyone in my family, his teammates and their families).
To think that my son will be playing on the very ice that a
Miracle took place. I was at Lake Placid the first week of the 1980 Olympics and I have great memories of it and I am so looking forward to going back.
I might even be convinced into taking a ride on either of
these.
These games will be the last these kids will play this year. It's sad but relieving. They've become almost like a family of brothers (and 2 sisters!). One of the girls on the team has a crush on my boy! He's totally oblivious to it though and not interested. You can see it when she smiles at him - and when she hits him when they are practicing on the ice. It's really cute.
The worst thing is that the program he plays in is collapsing and we are going to have to move him to a new program. He's going to have to try to fit in new group of kids and we're worried about it. We're worried about fitting in with a new group of parents, too.
I guess life is about change and the key is how you deal with it.
Labels: boy, hockey, Lake Placid, son, team
10 days
It's been 10 days since I've joined the ranks of the unemployed and the job search has begun.
I'm glad that I no longer have to go to the hideous place I called a job for a year. The last six months there were just horrible. If it wasn't for my coworkers I don't think that I would have lasted as long as I did.
There is so much I could write about the experience but I'm just too close to it at the moment and I'm not sure I'd be as objective as I should when I review it.
Let me review a couple other doings in my life though...
The boy's hockey season drags on and they continue to improve their skills but it has not been enough to make the playoffs in their league. We will still be playing in the tournament up in Lake Placid at the beginning of March and I think the coaching staff would like to add another tournament at the end of March in the local area. The big news is that it looks like we are going to have to move the boy to a program at a different rink as there might not be enough kids for a team at his level next year. All the kids on his team at his current level are doing the same so we are all trying to go to a program together. They've become pretty good friends and so have us parents that we'd like to keep all of us together.
My sex life has gotten a be sparse lately. It's related to some medical testing my wife had to undergo due to some negative Pap Smear test results. Not to fear, the follow up testing went well and she is in no danger at this time. She has tested positive for HPV but that only means that she has the cells - all other tests were negative and she is fine.
The weather here has finally gotten colder and we've had our first dusting of snow, finally.
All I really need is for my wife to jump my bones when she gets home for lunch and a new job and I'll be peachy keen!
Labels: boy, hockey, job, medical, sex
Yeah, I'm still here.
Sorry for the lack of posts but between work, the boy's hockey and the Christmas season I have had little time for posting.
To give you a bit of an update here's some nuggets from what's been going on in my life...
I've been exploring other options for income but that's all I can say at the moment. Hopefully, I'll be able to say more soon.
My wife and I got the Christmas shopping mostly done the other night. We have some minor gifts still to get but the gifts for the boy are basically done. The big gift for him this year was going to be a
Wii but one of those has been nearly impossible to find so we stepped up and decided to buy him a laptop. I can't wait to see his face when he opens it Christmas morning.
Work has been totally
sucky. I won't get into the details but a good example is that today is Saturday and I am going in to the office. Not much else has changed for the good and I dread going in to the office every single day.
The boy's hockey team has been mediocre at best but they are playing better and we have some high hopes for a tournament they are playing in over the Christmas holiday. I don't know if I mentioned it before but his team will be playing in a tournament up in Lake Placid in March and we are all very excited to see them play on OLYMPIC ice. On the very ice that a MIRACLE took place. Not to mention while we're up there we'll get to try the luge and bobsled runs.
One last thing, if you can take a few moments out of your day on Monday morning, think of me and send some good thoughts,
mojo, karma etc. my way. I sure could use it.
Labels: boy, Christmas, gifts, hockey, opportunity, update, work
