Shhh, It's a secret!

Maryland My Marland part 3

Why I’m writing all this about my hangouts in Maryland has a lot to do with my social and sexual awakening. It was an important period in my life and has a lot to do with who and what I am today.

A key moment in my life happened when I met my ex-fiance in “The Deuce”. Sharon (not her real name) was in the Navy and had just got assigned to our base. I asked her to dance and we spent the rest of the evening talking and dancing. She had greenish eyes and long black hair and was from a town in Michigan midway between Detroit and Chicago. After our first dance, she explained that she was pregnant and was sent back to the states from her overseas assignment since the base there did not have facilities to handle pregnancies and delivery. The father was not in the picture either. I did not see any problem with doing anything with this girl (socially or sexually). At the end of the night, we went back to her room in the dorm and spent the night together.

Things with her progressed quickly and we got serious pretty fast. In hindsight it was a mistake. I am pretty sure she saw me as a mark that she could use during her pregnancy and maybe after. We ended up moving in together and she asked me to be the father of the baby and be there for the delivery. I was floored and honored by this and quickly agreed. Shortly after that we were engaged. I went through the whole pregnancy with her and was there for the delivery of her daughter. Sharon even put my name on the baby’s birth certificate as the father. It’s funny now but my family had a hard time believing that the baby was not mine and why I would agree to be the father. I did it because I saw this girl in need, I loved her and it was the right thing to do.

I have to tell you that I loved being a father (even for a baby that was not mine). I changed diapers, bathed her, dressed her and all that stuff. My family accepted her as a blood relative even with the circumstances.

After the baby came, things went down hill pretty fast. We started arguing, money became a problem, too. We eventually broke up after Christmas of 1984 but stayed in the same apartment until our lease expired in June of that year (both of our names were on the lease and we could not break it). Much later on after we broke up I found out that she cheated on me twice while we were together. In fact, the signs were there at the times she cheated but my blind love ignored them.

I was naïve; she used that and broke my heart. I drank heavily after we broke up. I even took up smoking (still smoke now but only occasionally).

I often think of Sharon’s little girl (she’d be about 22 now!) and what she told her about the father’s name on the birth certificate. I half expect her to show up or try and contact me someday and get the real story.

There are quite a few odd details of the relationship with Sharon that I should share for the record. For example, here are some odd facts and happenings during our relationship: The baby’s father was Sharon’s Navy recruiter. The sex we had was simple and vanilla. After we broke up, she used to like to give me a hand job occasionally – even though she never did while we were together. We fucked up until the night before her water broke and she went into labor. I never used a condom with her. She and the baby were the reason I re-enlisted after my first 4 years in the Air Force were up. After we broke up, I fucked a girl on the couch in the living room while Sharon and the baby slept in the bed room (that’s another complicated story).

The time I spent drinking and carousing was what I was about back then. My work and commitments as a member of the Air Force were secondary to all of this. I look back on it now and I should have been spending more time taking college courses and trying to improve myself instead of wasting my time and paychecks on booze, women and these experiences. Not that I regret it so much but I should have spent less time on the high life and more time with professional improvements. I would be better for it now.

posted by section306g @ 8:27 PM